i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize