week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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