I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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