i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
