I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
