Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
