We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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