she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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