Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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