yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
