I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you inspire me to be a worse person
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
