i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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