Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
