You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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