oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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