After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
