I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
