sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
