Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
