ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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