in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
