butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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