Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
