Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
