we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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