Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
