My pussy is not your playground.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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