I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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