Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
