I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you never un-have a 4some
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
