Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
