I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
