hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
