I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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