So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
