We're facebook friends in real life
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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