I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
