Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
In America we eat man semen.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
