Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
