pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
