it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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