it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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