Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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