i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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