$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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