glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
