I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
