Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
