Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
