So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Found your dick twin last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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