i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
