The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
